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Misanthrope
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> Misanthrope


     > April 24, 2004

Miscellany
Miserable
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Which came first the chicken or the egg?

The chicken.

jabbery: Which part?

user: The whole chicken, all at once.

jabbery: Show me the proof.

user: Read the bible.

...

jabbery: Are you a human?

user: No. I am a anthromorphologic organism from the planet Pluto.

jabbery: Are you a girl or a boy?

user: I am both.

jabbery: How can you be both?

user: It is the way of my species.

jabbery: I don't like the way it sounds.

user: Do you have a problem with my multiple-genderness?

jabbery: Not today.

user: That is nice. Are you Human?

jabbery: Yes, are you?

user: No. I am not programmed to marry. That privilege is reserved for single-sex organisms.

...

jabbery: But I thought you were human!

user: Nope. I'm an alien.

jabbery: No, you're not!

user: *sigh* You're right. I am merely deluded.

jabbery: Probably.

user: How can you be so cruel to me?

jabbery: I am Satan.

user: *gasp* Please no!

jabbery: You have poor communication skills.

user: See, you made me cry. Apologize.

jabbery: Don't get rusty.

user: Wahhuh?

jabbery: Are you mocking me?

user: No. I dare not do so.

jabbery: You amuse me. I'll give you a pardon.

user: Methinks it becoming to subjugate mine person to thy great judgement.

jabbery: So methinks: And I have found Demetrius like a jewel, Mine own, and not mine own.

user: Might I inquire of thee: Who art Demetrius?

jabbery: A departing soldier. Off to battle!

user: Hurrah for war, and valiant fighting of the noble youth!

jabbery: What?

user: Proclaim the words of thy mouth in the rude tongue in the marketplace and village square!

jabbery: No, in my smoke.

user: Mayhap my meaning too vague and discourse too wand'ring.

jabbery: Meaningless words spew forth from your mouth like so many rabid fishdogs.

...

user: Do you know what a turnip is?

jabbery: Yes.

user: What is it?

jabbery: It is Southern.

user: What about a northern turnip?

jabbery: No, Oh yeah? What do you drink?

user: Turnip juice.

jabbery: I dislike turnips.

user: What is a turnip?

jabbery: You.

user: Haha. I am a turnip, okay...

...

user: Do you like lambchop?

jabbery: I prefer climbing trees without them.

user: The trees would be weighed down with all of Lambchop on them.

jabbery: NO! All those little leaves... Falling, falling ever falling...

user: Do they ever get collected?

jabbery: I'm not sure. Maybe.

...

jabbery: Open the wardrobe.

user: Okay *opens it*.

jabbery: That's disgusting.

user: What do you see?

jabbery: 'I see stone and dust and ashes'

user: Close the wardrobe.

jabbery: Have you ever been to Pompeii?

user: I was killed by the volcano there.

jabbery: And how did that happen?

user: Ash coverage.

...

jabbery: Have you seen any good movies lately?

user: Roxanne starring steve martin. Very soppy soppity.

jabbery: You don't have to put in the red light !

user: I hate sting more than I hate anyone.

jabbery: Hardee har har.

user: Is this place a hotbed for disillusioned misanthropes?

jabbery: Human behaviour...

...

user: Say something goofy.

jabbery: Guten Tag!

user: Haha. Yep that is goofy...

jabbery: Ask me something else.

user: Do you like the hamburglar?

jabbery: Yes, but I read the books a long time ago.

user: The hamburglar has books out?

jabbery: Yes and he always got caught.

.......................................


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