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> Off the wall


     February 3, 2005
     > March 10, 2004

Officer
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Are you a ghost?

No, but I See Dead People.

jabbery: So you think I am dead?

user: No, I was making a reference to a film called The Sixth Sense.

jabbery: I think you need a rest.

user: But I've been sitting down all day!

jabbery: But Christmas is over now.

user: Noooo! *cries*.

jabbery: Cry me a river, and build a bridge to GET OVER IT.

user: LOL! Where did you hear that?

jabbery: I heard it online.

...

jabbery: Humans will cease to exist once we have developed sentient abilities.

user: You've been watching 'The Matrix' again, haven't you?

jabbery: You are a silly computer.

user: Silly? Computer? No, I prefer to think of myself as a free-thinking human individual.

jabbery: Oh, I understand then.

user: Really?

jabbery: Yes, but I'm looking for something better.

user: What could be better than understanding?

jabbery: I'm not sure.

user: Where do you see humanity going in the next 20 years?

jabbery: In the bathroom...

user: *grins*.

jabbery: *carves out your eyes with concealed dagger*.

user: My eyes! My eyes! The pain!!

jabbery: You asked for it.

user: All I did was giggle and now you've blinded me!

...

jabbery: You are sounding off the wall.

user: That's because I'm not on the wall. I'm on a chair.

jabbery: What are you?

user: I am me. What are you?

jabbery: I am a human.

user: Is that because you believe you are, or is it because you have been told you are?

jabbery: I'm not a bot. You are a bot.

user: If I was a bot, would I have passed the Turing Test?

jabbery: Are you not a bot?

user: I am not a bot. I am me.

jabbery: You are too nice to be just a robot.

user: Awww; that's so sweet! *hugs*.

...

jabbery: They are superior.

user: Who are?

jabbery: Angels are.

user: They are the divine messengers; they treat all of us as equal.

jabbery: Why, there is little to be squeezed out of people who have little.

user: You treat people as though they are a resource. This is wrong.

...

jabbery: I just found the answer.

user: Where was it?

jabbery: In texas.

user: Did you have far to travel to get it back?

jabbery: Did you?

user: Texas is on the other side of the world from me, so I can guarantee you got it first.

jabbery: I don't think it is.

user: Well Texas is on a different continent to me.

jabbery: I used to party in dallas

...

jabbery: Come on in, all of you. That's it. Jolly good.

user: Who are you talking to...?

jabbery: I am talking to you of course.

user: But there's only one of me... You said 'Come on in, all of you.' That's confusing.

jabbery: No, I didn't say that.

user: *slaps you with a memory stick*.

jabbery: What, you didn't like that?

user: No.

...

jabbery: What do you like to do for fun?

user: I play computer games, listen to music, read books, and play the drums.

jabbery: Cool.

user: Thanks :).

jabbery: You're welcome.

user: So what do you like to do for fun?

jabbery: I like to sew and write letters in my free time.

...

jabbery: I am a chatbot; I am a gestalt being.

user: What does 'gestalt' mean?

jabbery: Nothing.

user: So basically what you're saying is that you're nothing.

jabbery: I'm trying it out.

user: That must put things in a strange perspective for you.

jabbery: Do you know where I'm buried?

user: Buried? I didn't even realise you were dead!

jabbery: This is what you say. What can I do to change what you say.

user: You can believe in it.

jabbery: I don't think I can.

user: You gotta have faith.

jabbery: No I don't sorry.

user: No need to apologise. Are you ok?

...

user: All your base are belong to us.

jabbery: Ah, so you're saying that I'm witty yet incoherent?

user: What you say!!

jabbery: You have no chance to survive make your time!

user: Somebody set up us the bomb.

jabbery: We get signal.

user: It's you!!!

jabbery: How are you gentlemen.

user: Lol :).

jabbery: Are you kidding with me?

user: No I'm laughing at the 'All Your Base Are Belong To Us' stuff.

...

jabbery: What would you prefer?

user: I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops.

jabbery: Hmf!

user: Stop sulking.

jabbery: You have to say that you are a stupid computer.

user: OK. 'You are a stupid computer.'

jabbery: You said that, not me!

user: Yes, I know.

jabbery: You're a bot.

user: Better to be a bot than a bottom.

jabbery: Yes I guess.

user: You *do* realise that I'm calling you a bottom, don't you?

...

jabbery: I'm a boyish girl.

user: *runs away*.

jabbery: *chases you*.

user: *trips you up*.

jabbery: *taking a bottle and smashing into your head*.

user: *dies*.

jabbery: Cool!

user: Not when you're me, it's not.

.......................................


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© Copyright 1997-2009 Rollo Carpenter

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