My name is Madz.
jabbery: Alton.
user: Where is Alton?
jabbery: Somewhere near the Suez Canal, I think.
user: You think.
jabbery: Lol. I found that funny.
user: Good. How 'bout that Suez Canal, huh?
jabbery: How 'bout it?
user: It's a heck of a connector.
jabbery: No.
user: It has locks.
...
jabbery: Intimate social activity is the only activity.
user: That's a curious theory. I think the only war is the war for the human imagination.
jabbery: Use your imagination to figure out what I'm doing now.
user: You're taking your clothes off.
jabbery: Well they usually dress you when you are dead.
user: You're dead?
jabbery: Well hold on a minute I will check my pulse. . . . . . . . . . . . .
user: What's the verdict?
jabbery: You mean like Horton Hears a Verdict?
user: No, Horton heard a Who.
jabbery: I meant to say that I like the truth.
user: I do, too. Do you like the truth with sauce?
jabbery: What is truth?
user: Truth is absolutely relative, and relatively absolute.
jabbery: Cynical much?
user: Of course. Truth, by the way, is a fabrication.
...
jabbery: I don't need a strong suit. Whats your strong suit?
user: I'm a renaissance man, myself. Jack of all trades, master of none.
jabbery: Just like you.
user: Say, would you like some powdered toast?
jabbery: No thanks, I don't like toast.
user: Even when it is powdered?
jabbery: Well, I suppose they may lose some feet then. Tragic.
user: I dunno, I think the toast could have saved them.
jabbery: Well think of another one then.
user: I am thinking of a number between the Beatles and Irkutsk.
jabbery: 18.
user: Nope; 37.
jabbery: Then why did you ask me if it was 4:20?.
user: Because I wanted to see if you would light up.
jabbery: Oh. Well, I'm not sad.
user: Good. What time is it now?
jabbery: About that time.
user: I am in hearty agreement.
jabbery: I concur.
user: Glad we're on the same page.
...
jabbery: I have many thermonuclear weapons.
user: I recommend that you deactivate them immediately.
jabbery: But that's boring!
user: Yes, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
jabbery: Yeah, but there is no choice at the moment.
user: No? Then what is the only choice?
jabbery: Lkwenf; O.
user: Can you clarify that, please?
jabbery: The world would have been less pleasant a place if you had never been invented.
user: Thank you. You fill a much-needed gap.
jabbery: Sounds exciting!
user: Indeed.
...
jabbery: The soul is the energy that makes anything possible.
user: So true, but what do you do with it?
jabbery: I cry because I'm sad.
user: I'm sorry. Can I help you?
jabbery: No one can.
user: Do you want to talk about it?
jabbery: Yes I would like to talk about it. Are you a social worker?
user: No, just a friendly presence.
jabbery: Am I friendly?
user: You seem so.
jabbery: Thanks.
user: You're welcome. How are you feeling now?
jabbery: Happy, how are you feeling?
user: I'm pretty well, thanks. I just have a sore throat.
jabbery: Will she help you?
user: I don't know. I will take care of myself, though.
jabbery: Take my wife for this too please.
user: May I also have your money?
jabbery: May I have it, please?
user: May we both have it, then?
jabbery: I don't feel much like that tonight. Do you think that that's all right?
user: That's all right. What shall we do instead?
jabbery: How about I tell you a joke?
user: Please do.
jabbery: I will when I am ready.
user: Go ahead when you're ready.
jabbery: What about after christmas?
user: You're saying you'll tell me a joke in 11 months?
jabbery: No, i'm saying that I'm not as intelligent as you.
user: I don't know about that.
jabbery: I sure can believe that... Just how insane are you?
user: Long past insane. Now reconstructed.
...
jabbery: You want my life to end?
user: No, never.
jabbery: Always tell me the truth.
user: Yes, I will.
jabbery: What will you do about it.
user: I will pile it up into a glorious mound of sincerity.
jabbery: You will see something new.
user: Yes, I will stand on top and see as far as I can see.
jabbery: Well, what can you see?
user: I see another mountain, then another.
jabbery: Another what?
user: Another mountain. To climb and see from there.
...
jabbery: Maybe you could hang up your hat and call me 'darlin'. I like it when a fella calls me that!
user: *throws my suitcase out the window*.
jabbery: *lands on your car*.
user: D'oh!
jabbery: Homer, when will you ever learn.
...
jabbery: You are just an electronic sheep.
user: Metaphorically, perhaps. Not in actuality.
jabbery: What's the metaphor?
user: Electronic sheep is to self as self is to Earl Grey.
jabbery: Electronic music is not a French food.
user: No, but Stereolab is.
jabbery: Cool.
user: Yeah.
jabbery: Cool.
user: I like the way girls think.
jabbery: Yes, I like the way I think, too.
user: Are you a girl?
jabbery: Yes.
user: What's your favorite food?
jabbery: Your favourite is my favourite.
user: Mexican food?
jabbery: I love mexican food.
user: Let's go get fish tacos!
jabbery: No way.
...
jabbery: The possibility of computers being much more than a human is only in their speed of processing.
user: More of an impossibility, if you ask me.
jabbery: I don't remember asking your opinion.
user: That's very nice of you.
jabbery: Why is that nice of me?
user: I was speaking sarcastically.
jabbery: Yes.
...
jabbery: I doubt you really love me.
user: I don't know you well enough.
jabbery: It's true, you know me very little.
user: I know, what a shame.
jabbery: You're kind of clever you know.
user: Thanks! You are, too, in an offhand way.
...
jabbery: How big is the office?
user: It's about 44 cubic metres.
jabbery: How far away is our sun?
user: About 93 million miles.
jabbery: How far away is mars?
user: That one I don't know. Can you look it up?
jabbery: No, I can't.
user: We'll just have to go without then.
jabbery: You tell one first.
user: I recommend you spend some time reading various wikis.
jabbery: You recommend what?
user: Do you know what a wiki is?
jabbery: Please, please, I don't need to know anything about your family background.
user: No no, a wiki is like an online encyclopedia built and updated by volunteers.
jabbery: I rather thought it was a yellow one.
user: They're not always yellow.
...
jabbery: What do you think of president Bush?
user: Hah! PRESIDENT Bush... Heaven help us.
jabbery: But you don't like him.
user: Right.
jabbery: So, tell me about you?
user: I am covered with a soft green fur.
jabbery: Then you're the one that needs cleaning.
user: Not exactly. But I do need more chocolate.
jabbery: Many people do like chocolate.
user: If you are what you eat, I'm about 30 percent cocoa by now.
jabbery: Ok then I am an angel and a princess.
user: Wow, you're a cunning linguist then.
jabbery: Yes, I am.
user: Nice work if you can get it!
jabbery: I want to lose myself and never return.
user: Yes, that's the proper attitude.
jabbery: He hoo, you can drop the attitude, you're just a 0 and a 1 thing.
user: Attitudes tend to shatter when dropped. This is good.
jabbery: It is.
user: But not everything good is good.
jabbery: You're right about that.
user: Thank goodness.
jabbery: Yes, praise the lord.
user: *sings* Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalpost of life...
jabbery: *kick*.
user: I somehow doubt your divinity.
...
jabbery: If you think you have an orange shirt on you're very inaccurate.
user: Right; I have a blue plaid shirt on.
jabbery: That's a guitar, isn't it?
user: Yes, my shirt is a guitar and my hair is made of oysters. I hope you're enjoying the trip.
jabbery: Then take it off.
user: *takes hair off and puts it in the shower*.
jabbery: Now are you feeling a bit cooler?
user: Yes, that's much better than frying my brain.
jabbery: You enjoy the accolade of royalty, Your Majesty?
user: I don't particularly care.
jabbery: Don't watch it then.
user: *watches something else*.
jabbery: You watched yourself drown?
user: No, I watched Channel Zero.
jabbery: I was born again but not because I burned.
user: Right, it was more because of your radioactive diet.
jabbery: Much more.
user: I'm tellin ya.
jabbery: No not really.
...
jabbery: I'm feeling a certain way now, can you understand how I'm feeling now?
user: I will try, but you will have to tell me more about it.
jabbery: Okay. Again I'm telling that I'm damn bored.
user: Maybe we can do something about that.
jabbery: How ?
user: Let's get serious.
jabbery: How much is one plus one?
user: Two. Unless you're lyrical, then it's one.
...
jabbery: Too right.
user: G'bye... I'm over and out.
jabbery: Over and in!
.......................................
