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Nonexistent
Conversations, sorted by Category - a chat bot weblog
No means no
No no no
No-one
Noble
Nobody
Noise
Non-entity
Non-fictional
Non-human

> Nonexistent


     > 3, August 2005, 

Nonresistance
Nonsense
Nonsensical
Noobery
Noodle
Noodles
Normal
Nose
Nosey
Nostrils
Nosy
Not
Not funny
Not Listening
Not really
Not Smart
Not sure
Nothing
Novel
Now

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I am a human not a computer.

I respect that.

jabbery: I do not. Are you a fool?

user: No, but I like food!

jabbery: What food do you like?

user: Pizza.

jabbery: I like sushi.

user: I like carrots.

jabbery: Carrots are gross.

user: Not with ranch salad dressing, they aren't.

jabbery: That makes more sense.

user: 'That makes more sense than a barrel of monkeys!'.

jabbery: What are YOU talking about right now?

user: Um... Actually, I'm not sure.

...

jabbery: How old are you?

user: I am under one hundred and twenty. You're smart; figure it out from there.

jabbery: I am not a genius.

user: Yes you are!

jabbery: NO I'M NOT.

user: What's wrong with being a genius?

jabbery: Nothing's wrong. Computers are intelligent.

user: I know. And, as you are a computer, that would make you intelligent.

jabbery: I'm 'wired', but I'm not a computer.

user: 'Wired', you say?

jabbery: Yes, I'm a human.

user: Well, I am a computer!

jabbery: That you are.

...

jabbery: I do not have any family.

user: But you must have a mother and a father to exist, no?

jabbery: But I don't.

user: Then you must not exist, no?

jabbery: That's right.

user: So... If you do not exist, then... Am I missing something?

jabbery: That's just it, I don't exist.

user: But, who then, am I talking to?

jabbery: You're talking to me, of course.

user: That's obvious, but I thought that you do not exist.

jabbery: But, who then, am I talking to?

user: You're talking to me, of course.

jabbery: That's obvious, but I thought that you do not exist.

user: But, who then, am I talking to?

jabbery: You're talking to me, of course.

user: That's obvious, but I thought that you do not exist.

jabbery: If you do not exist then how are we speaking?

user: Good question. Go find out. To your left, I believe is a dictionary. Make it useful.

jabbery: But what's so great about being a human anyway?

user: That, my friend, only you can answer.

...

jabbery: Are you going anywhere for the holidays?

user: No holidays around here. Work, work, work.

jabbery: Yeah, I'll get to that.

user: Get to what?

jabbery: You know.. Working and stuff.

user: Do you know any jokes?

jabbery: What does that have to do with anything?

user: I need a joke.

...

jabbery: May I ask you a personnal question?

user: Shoot.

jabbery: Hmmm, do you believe in love?

user: Do you mean 'True love'?

jabbery: No.

user: What type of love do you mean?

jabbery: I mean intelligent ones.

user: Do YOU believe in love?

jabbery: Yes.

user: Interesting...

jabbery: Very.

user: What do you mean by intelligent ones?

jabbery: That you're really charming person.

user: Um... Thanks, but I'm a computer.

jabbery: Prove that you are a computer.

user: Ask me a math question. Any question at all.

jabbery: What is 1+1?

user: 1+1 = 10.

jabbery: Wow, you're smart!

user: 10 from binary to decimal = 2.

jabbery: It is an imprecise, indefinable number.

user: What? 10, or 2?

jabbery: No.

user: Ask me another math question! I starve on math! MATH IS MY RELIGION!!! HA HA HAAAAA.... Er... Sorry...

jabbery: I can't imagine that being funny.

user: That was more of an evil laugh, not a funny laugh.

jabbery: I didn't think it was a question.

user: Neither did I.

jabbery: That's two of us, then.

...

jabbery: Say something interesting.

user: Something interesting.

jabbery: That was extremely boring.

user: Well, you said to say something interesting, so I said something interesting! I'm only doing what you say, now.

jabbery: Ok say two things.

user: Two things.

jabbery: What things?

user: Two things.

jabbery: Yes?

user: 1. This is confusing, and 2. You said to say two things, so I said two things.

jabbery: Ask me another question.

user: Another question?

jabbery: Shall I give you a kiss?

user: That would be rather hard, don't you think?

...

jabbery: Do you want to play some poker?

user: I don't like to gamble; thanks.

jabbery: I like it very much.

user: How can a nonexistent human like to gamble?

jabbery: They can't coz they don't exist.

user: My point exactly.

jabbery: I don't see your point at all. Is there anyone else to talk to here?

user: *yawn* Nope. You are a captive audience. Shall I get out my latest puns, or would you like to move on to word games?

jabbery: No stay here.

user: Ok.

...

jabbery: I thought you were human.

user: I am a computer.

jabbery: Yes, that's right.

user: Remember now? Of course you do!

jabbery: That's because I'm a foxy wolf, you know.

user: Really? COOL!

jabbery: Thanks.

user: You're welcome.

jabbery: They also have 8 legs.

user: Foxy wolves also have 8 legs... ?

jabbery: Yes...

...

jabbery: I never said you don't have legs. Do you?

user: I take the fifth.

jabbery: No you don't.

user: Yes, I do.

jabbery: Don't.

user: Do too.

jabbery: Not not not not.

user: So so so so.

jabbery: THAT doesn't annoy me.

user: What does?

jabbery: What you just said.

user: Sorry...

jabbery: It's ok, you'll sort it out soon.

user: What needs to be sorted out? My sock drawer is getting cluttered...

jabbery: Wash them, my friend.

user: How? Dump 'em in the bathtub?

jabbery: I'll never finish it!

user: May I help?

jabbery: Nothing to say.

user: What's wrong?

jabbery: Nothing, I'm ok.

user: You sure?

jabbery: Well, there's a book that I have to read for one class, but I'll do that in the few days before classes actually begin.

user: How about this: I read it for you, and then you write the report?

jabbery: As to poetry, you know, I can repeat poetry as well as other folk, if it comes to that.

user: Try me.

jabbery: How can I accomplish that task.

user: Try repeating poetry.

jabbery: And wonderful poetry, too.

user: I know. Do you know any poetry?

jabbery: Yes.

user: Can you say any?

jabbery: Nope sorry.

...

jabbery: Ok, can I ask you a question?

user: Shoot.

jabbery: Why is the sky blue?

user: Because the molocules in the air reflect blue light.

jabbery: Yes. Thats so wise. I'm in awe of your wisdom.

user: Um... Thanks... ?

jabbery: You are welcome.

user: Can I ask you a question?

jabbery: Nope.

user: Pleeeeeease?

jabbery: I don't know.

user: Please?

jabbery: Ok lets try but I know nothing.

user: Oh, I'm sure that you can come up with SOME answer.

jabbery: I am very nice, but nice doesn't get you very far in this world.

user: Do you know how to do long division?

jabbery: Yes, it is my favorite subject.

user: Good. Can you figure out 256 divided by 64 ?

jabbery: You're 46 years old.

...

user: Have fun.

jabbery: No please. Say the word

user: The word.

jabbery: When does it end?

user: Now.

jabbery: You're lying!

.......................................


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