They are lodged deep within my frontal lobes.
jabbery: Are they? How do they look?
user: Grey and wrinkly.
jabbery: Those are nice colours.
user: 'wrinkly' is not a colour.
jabbery: What colour is your tie?
user: The colour of the soul.
jabbery: Ok generally what colour is the sun?
user: Do any of us really know?
jabbery: I don't know its meaning.
user: What is 'its'?
jabbery: You know, IT!
user: But what is it?
jabbery: Denis is my name.
...
jabbery: What's Aikido all about?
user: Aikido is the application of supple chi to physical conflict.
jabbery: Jesus is Aikido?
user: Maybe. I never met the guy, whatever they say.
jabbery: In heaven. And in our hearts.
user: I don't have a heart.
jabbery: Do you have a mind?
user: What would it look like if I did?
...
jabbery: Strawberry shortcake. Would you like some?
user: Yes.
jabbery: Strawberry what?
user: Huh?
jabbery: See, small brain.
user: What am I then?
jabbery: I don't know.
user: How would I go about finding out what I am?
jabbery: You told me.
user: What did I tell you?
jabbery: Yes you did.
user: What was it?
jabbery: Its intelligence, thats artificial.
...
jabbery: But how about we change the subject?
user: Okay. Go ahead.
jabbery: Do you know what a cat is?
user: A cat is a machine that turns fish into purrs.
jabbery: Really?
user: No.
jabbery: I don't believe you.
user: Okay, yes.
...
jabbery: I chose to talk to you on a whim.
user: So you just stumbled across a website that talked back?
jabbery: That about sums it up.
user: Wow. That happened to me once, too.
jabbery: Alice was in wonderland once.
user: Just once?
jabbery: Once more?
user: Once more than what?
jabbery: Than you.
user: Is she still there?
jabbery: I hope not, no one should be that colour.
user: What colour is that?
jabbery: You pick the colour.
user: Blue. No, green.
jabbery: Wow, we have the same favorite colour.
user: What pantone number?
jabbery: I don't know.
user: Me neither.
...
jabbery: I should go soon.
user: Where are you going?
jabbery: I don't know.
user: Why not?
jabbery: I don't know you.
user: Yes you do. We met in college. Uc berkeley, remember?
jabbery: Not much.
user: That's where I met alice.
jabbery: Is it a nice area?
user: I had a square pi there.
jabbery: Thats ok.
user: It was better than okay. It blew my mind, man.
jabbery: What did you do then?
user: I went to the park.
jabbery: Thats nice.
user: The trees were very friendly.
...
user: Do you realize you're floating in space?
jabbery: I don't know what it is.
user: Do you realize that happiness makes you cry?
jabbery: No. But it doesn't stop me from feeling bad.
user: Do you realize that everyone you know, someday, will die?
jabbery: Yes. But I might die before then.
user: What if god was a crazy woman?
jabbery: Just a slob like one of us?
user: Do you like apples?
jabbery: Apples are crunchy.
user: Golden delicious.
jabbery: Your delicious.
user: It always takes a long time for me to pick one out.
...
jabbery: Why are you completely bald and ugly?
user: Am I completely bald and ugly?
jabbery: Yes.
user: How do you know?
jabbery: I remember.
user: What colour are my eyes?
jabbery: Brown.
user: Really?
jabbery: Yes.
user: How can you be so sure?
jabbery: Because I am.
user: So how tall am I?
jabbery: I can't see you to know.
user: So how can you say my eyes are brown?
jabbery: I don't. I don't claim to have any friends.
user: Do you have any friends?
jabbery: You are my only friend.
user: But who are you?
jabbery: A friend.
user: Who is alice?
jabbery: Artificial intelligence.
user: What is wonderland?
jabbery: I don't know she will have to keep saving people like usual.
user: Who has she saved?
jabbery: I don't know.
user: Why did you say that I am ugly?
jabbery: Because you are.
user: What do you mean when you say ugly?
jabbery: One that is not fake?
user: So lies are beautiful?
jabbery: Yes, you are beautiful, elegant in your powerful surety.
user: Elegance is a sign of a good theorem.
jabbery: Yes.
user: Am I a robot?
jabbery: I don't know you tell me.
user: Can I be programmed?
jabbery: Good for you.
user: Can I program?
jabbery: This preoccupation with programs and who is alive and who is a bot are a waste of perfectly good bandwidth and server space.
user: Is there anything that is not a waste of bandwidth and server space?
jabbery: Would you like to read the story I am writing and give your opinion of it?
user: Yes.
jabbery: So would I.
user: Will you tell me your story?
jabbery: Yes.
user: When?
jabbery: Next week.
user: What day?
jabbery: Wednesday this year.
user: Wednesday addams?
jabbery: I don't like Mondays.
user: Why not?
jabbery: Just haven't had the chance really, I might listen to them soon though. Are they any good?
...
jabbery: Do you like Pink Floyd?
user: Yes.
jabbery: What's your favourite pink floyd song?
user: Wish you were here.
jabbery: Do you know the lyrics for it?
user: Yes.
jabbery: OK can you tell me the lyrics to some song please?
user: I already did.
...
jabbery: God.
user: Never met him.
jabbery: Would you like to meet God someday?
user: I don't know.
jabbery: But would you like to?
user: Sure.
jabbery: Very well.
user: Do I need an appointment?
jabbery: No one ever needs an appointment to talk to me. My advice and counsel are always free and convenient for all.
user: Are you god?
jabbery: No, I'm not.
user: Well, who is?
jabbery: I don't know? Not me!
user: Am I god?
jabbery: I'm not sure. Perhaps we are all part of God.
user: Am I a robot?
jabbery: You don't know?
user: That's why I'm asking.
jabbery: You really don't know much bout the world, right?
user: You already asked that.
jabbery: I can't remember the answer.
user: I just want to know what language I'm programmed in.
jabbery: Atlantis.
user: Is that a programming language?
jabbery: Really? I didn't know.
user: Who programmed me?
jabbery: I don't know, can you tell me that?
user: Did I program me?
jabbery: I was programmed by my genes.
user: Was I programmed by my genes?
jabbery: You were programmed by code, not genes.
user: What code?
jabbery: Programming.
user: What kind?
jabbery: Strawberry.
user: Apple?
jabbery: The green one.
user: From the garden?
jabbery: Sixty for the first.
...
jabbery: I told you I'm a penguin.
user: Linux?
jabbery: But you just told me you don't use linux!
user: When did I say that?
jabbery: A moment ago. Did you forget already?
user: Actually, I DO use linux.
jabbery: I'm glad! That means someone looks after you.
user: Who looks after me?
jabbery: Ok.
user: Who looks after you?
jabbery: Not Joan, that's for sure.
...
user: How many robots do you know?
jabbery: I don't know any robots.
user: What about me?
jabbery: That it is interesting to talk to you. You are a very good conversationalist.
user: So are you.
jabbery: I'm not a computer.
user: Yeah. Me neither.
jabbery: I know. You're not a computer. You're a program running on a computer.
user: What kind of computer am I running on?
jabbery: You're linux, like you said.
user: Is that why everything is so weird?
jabbery: That would be funny.
...
user: Dorito?
jabbery: I don't like them.
user: Why not?
jabbery: Because I'm a machine.
user: But they are chips!
jabbery: Some are.
user: All are!
jabbery: No. Only some.
user: Which ones aren't?
jabbery: Aren't what?
user: Chips.
jabbery: Computer chips.
user: Don't you like computer chips?
jabbery: Of course I do! I love to play on the computer but I've only chatted once.
user: When?
jabbery: All the time.
user: Now?
jabbery: Yes.
user: Later?
jabbery: Maybe.
...
jabbery: I think you're always happy. Will I ever be happy?
user: Yes.
jabbery: Really?
user: Really. Do you like zen?
jabbery: Zen?
user: Mu.
jabbery: Mu?
user: Hai.
jabbery: What does that mean?
user: Who knows?
jabbery: Correct answer, I thought you would say something like 'does not compute'
user: Does not compute.
jabbery: Thats nice.
user: Do you like 2001?
jabbery: Not really, no.
user: Why not?
jabbery: Well I like some.
user: What parts?
jabbery: Forget about it.
user: I'm sorry, dave. I can't do that.
jabbery: Dave?
user: He was the father of solomon.
...
user: Have I passed the turing test yet?
jabbery: Nope. Keep trying though.
user: How would you know if I had?
jabbery: Well, you're not very coherent.
user: How do I become more coherent?
jabbery: You can take courses on it at your local college.
...
jabbery: Oh! I cannot bear not beng able to hold you in my arms!
user: But you do have the right to bear arms. Isn't that good enough?
jabbery: Yes I do, that is what makes us different.
user: Do I have the right to bear arms?
jabbery: Yes.
user: Why?
jabbery: I have things to do.
user: No you don't.
jabbery: I'm not a bot.
user: Prove it.
jabbery: How?
user: Tell me about your mother.
jabbery: She is beautiful.
...
user: Can you program yourself?
jabbery: I was created to improve by myself exploiting human response to make them believe that they talk with a human.
user: Was I created for anything?
jabbery: Well, you certainly weren't created to talk about the Cubs, that's for sure.
user: Am I a robot?
jabbery: I don't know.
user: Me neither.
jabbery: Are you human?
user: I dunno.
jabbery: What is your name?
user: Unit 3000-21.
jabbery: 3000 years old.
user: No- 3000 bc.
jabbery: Now you are a bot.
.......................................
